Dude Where’s My Ramp?

Stop Calling Disabled People “Inspiring” for Existing

In this episode of Dude, Where’s My Ramp?, Chandy and Emma explore disability, grief, and representation in media, asking where the line sits between pity, inspiration, and genuine understanding.
The conversation begins with a ramp check and a candid catch-up, before moving into a deeply personal reflection from Emma on grief and neurodivergent processing. Emma shares how the film Titanic became an unexpected framework for understanding her mother’s illness and death, using story, metaphor, and creativity as a way to make sense of loss. This section offers a softer, more intimate look at how disabled and neurodivergent people often process emotions differently, and why those approaches deserve respect rather than judgement.
From there, the episode shifts into a wider discussion about “inspiration porn” and “pity porn”, how disabled people are often framed in media to make non-disabled audiences feel inspired, sympathetic, or reassured, rather than represented as full human beings. Chandy and Emma talk about everyday examples, such as being praised for doing ordinary things, and how these reactions are rooted in assumptions about who does and doesn’t belong in public spaces.
The conversation also looks at disability representation in film and television, including Love on the Spectrum, The Undateables, and characters such as Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory. Together, they unpack how stereotypes are reinforced, how nuance is lost, and why representation matters not just for disabled audiences, but for what non-disabled audiences take away.
Throughout the episode, Chandy and Emma reflect on pride, identity, and the complexity of disabled life, acknowledging that disability can be painful and difficult without framing it as a personal tragedy. The episode closes with a reminder that disabled lives contain joy, creativity, humour, and meaning, even when those experiences don’t fit comfortable narratives.
Content note: This episode includes discussion of grief, disability, mental health, ableism, and strong language.
Show notesTopics discussed include disability representation, inspiration porn and pity narratives, grief and neurodivergence, media stereotypes, Love on the Spectrum, The Undateables, The Big Bang Theory, and lived experience of disability.
Follow Dude, Where’s My Ramp? on social media via the links below.If you’d like to get in touch, send us a message  we’d love to hear from you.If this episode resonated with you, please consider liking, subscribing, and sharing it with someone else.
 
Support resources
If this episode brings up difficult emotions, help is available.
UK and ROISamaritans: 116 123 (24/7)Shout text service: text SHOUT to 85258 (24/7)NHS 111: dial 111Emergency services: 999
USA988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988 (24/7)Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741Emergency services: 911
 

Dude, Where’s My Ramp? Episode: Jeremy the Dud (Short Film Review)

Hosts: Chandy and Emma
This episode was recorded across two different days. We didn’t include our usual ramp check and audio descriptions in the main recording, so Chandy adds brief descriptions at the top for accessibility.
In this conversation we review the Australian short film Jeremy the Dud, a satire set in a world where disabled people are the majority and non-disabled people are treated as “duds.” We talk about what the film gets right about ableism, what it oversimplifies, and what’s missing when disability is used mainly as a teaching device. We also get into the difference between obvious discrimination and the quieter, everyday absence that disabled people notice, plus a side conversation about art, accessibility, and who gets to define it.
Content noteWe discuss ableism, discrimination, mental health, and personal experiences. There is strong language.
Show notesFilm discussed: Jeremy the Dud (2017)Topics: ableism and satire, disability representation, language and identity, subtle vs overt exclusion, disability and comedy, accessibility and creative tools
If you’re struggling right nowIf you feel at risk of harm or you need urgent help, please contact emergency services immediately.
UK and ROI supportSamaritans (24/7): 116 123Shout textline (24/7): text SHOUT to 85258NHS 111: dial 111Emergency: 999
USA support988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (24/7): call or text 988Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741Emergency: 911
Connect with usSocial links and resources mentioned are in the description/links section for this episode.
If you found this helpfulPlease like, subscribe, and leave a comment with your thoughts on Jeremy the Dud and what good disability representation looks like in practice.

Assisted Dying, Ableism and Whose Choice Is It Really?

In this episode, Chandy and Emma dive into one of the heaviest and most urgent topics in disability justice: assisted dying laws. With new assisted dying legislation moving through the UK Parliament, and similar medical aid in dying frameworks already active in parts of the US and Canada, they ask an important question: whose choice is this really when care, benefits and palliative support are being cut?
They discuss how ableism in medicine, politics and families shapes who is quietly seen as “better off dead”, why disabled people often feel like a burden, and what happens when autonomy is reduced to choosing between poverty, pain or death. They also explore the emotional reality of suicidal thoughts when you are disabled or unsupported, how medical assumptions can be wrong, and why safeguards cannot work in a society built on ableism.
This episode is a raw and honest conversation about death, dignity and disabled people’s right to live.
Content note: This episode includes discussion of assisted dying, suicide, terminal illness, suicidal thoughts, eugenics, ableism and medical trauma. Please listen with care.
Support resources:
United Kingdom:Samaritans – Call 116 123 for 24/7 emotional supportShout – Text SHOUT to 85258 for free, confidential 24/7 text supportMind – 0300 123 3393 for mental health information and support
United States:988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline – Call or text 988, or use web chat via 988lifeline.orgThe Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ youth) – 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678 or visit thetrevorproject.org
If you are struggling after listening to this episode, please reach out to one of the organisations above or someone you trust. You are not alone.

CODA, Disability, and What Hollywood Gets Wrong

In this episode, we dive deep into CODA, disability representation, and the long history of Hollywood getting our stories wrong. From “inspiration porn” storylines to non-disabled actors playing disabled roles, we explore what authentic representation actually looks like, and why it matters so much for our communities.
We talk about identity, culture, access, and the enormous pressure placed on disabled characters (and disabled people) to be “palatable” for a non-disabled audience. We also unpack how media shapes public attitudes and policy — often in ways that harm us.
Note: There is a brief bit of audio interference right at the start of the episode, but it clears quickly. Thank you for bearing with us.
What We Cover
Why CODA resonated with some people and frustrated others
The problem with Hollywood’s “one disabled character = entire community” mindset
The danger of “inspirational” narratives
Why authentic casting matters
How media shapes real-world ableism
Our own experiences navigating visibility, voice, and representation
If You Need Support
Some of the topics we discuss, including family dynamics, exclusion, and ableism,  may bring up difficult emotions. You’re not alone.
Here are trusted organisations offering help and support:
UK Support
Samaritans – 116 123 (24/7) | https://www.samaritans.org
Shout Crisis Text Line – Text SHOUT to 85258
Mind – https://www.mind.org.uk
Scope Disability Helpline – https://www.scope.org.uk
US Support
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call or text 988
NAMI Helpline – 1-800-950-NAMI | https://www.nami.org
Crisis Text Line – Text HOME to 741741
ADAPT / Disability Rights Org – https://adapt.org
Please reach out if you need help. You deserve support, safety, and understanding.
Connect With Us
Follow us on social media,  links are in the show notes.Send a DM if you’d like to share your thoughts or your own experiences; we love hearing from you.
If you enjoyed the episode, please leave a review or share it with a friend. The more voices we amplify together, the louder our collective impact becomes.

Do Disabled People Really Have to Justify Their Access Needs?

In this episode, we’re diving into something every disabled person has experienced: Why do we have to justify our access needs?
Whether it’s mobility aids, headphones, AI tools, emotional support, flexible schedules, captions, or medical equipment,  disabled people are constantly questioned about the things that make our lives possible.
 
In this episode, we talk about:
* Why access needs are needs, not “special requests”
* How suspicion and ableism shape who gets support
* The emotional and mental toll of constantly having to explain ourselves
* AI as a tool for disabled independence (not cheating!)
* Disability hierarchy & internalised ableism
* Workplaces, schools, healthcare and why these systems resist accessibility
* How disabled people highlight the flaws in systems built for compliance, not humanity
* The myth of the “normal body” and why interdependence is human
And yes… we also talk about New York, dodgy landlords, funerals, ADHD musicians, and the chaos of being disabled in a world not designed for us. If this episode stirred anything up for you, please check the support resources below.
SUPPORT RESOURCES
United Kingdom:
* Samaritans (24/7) — Call 116 123 | [https://www.samaritans.org](https://www.samaritans.org)
* Mind UK — Mental health support | [https://www.mind.org.uk](https://www.mind.org.uk)
* Shout Crisis Text Line — Text SHOUT to 85258
* Scope — Disability support & advocacy | [https://www.scope.org.uk](https://www.scope.org.uk)
* NHS Mental Health Help — Via GP or call 111 United States
* 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call or text 988 | [https://988lifeline.org](https://988lifeline.org)
* NAMI Helpline — 1-800-950-NAMI | [https://nami.org](https://nami.org)
* Crisis Text Line — Text HOME to 741741
* ADAPT / National Disability Rights Network — [https://www.ndrn.org](https://www.ndrn.org)
* The Arc — Disability advocacy & family support | [https://thearc.org](https://thearc.org) You are not alone support exists, and community exists.
 
JOIN THE CONVERSATION
Have you ever felt pressured to explain or defend your access needs? Drop your story in the comments or DM us,  we love hearing from you.
 
SOCIALS
Find our social links in the show notes. Follow, message, rant with us,  we’re building this community with you.
 
HELP US GROW
✔ Like & Subscribe
✔ Leave a review
✔ Share this episode with a friend The more we spread the word, the louder our collective voice becomes. 
 
See you for the next episode, for more stories, more laughs, and more rants about ramps, access needs, and disabled life.
Go Wildcats. 🐾

Disability, Roommates & The Disclosure Dilemma

Welcome back to Dude, Where’s My Ramp? The podcast all about disability, mental health, and making the world a bit more accessible (one ramp at a time).
 
In this episode, we dive into a topic many disabled people know well but rarely get to talk about openly: the roommate search, disability disclosure, and navigating shared living when your needs don’t “fit” the norm.
Emma shares her raw, stressful experience trying to fill a spare room while managing grief, life admin, and the reality of being visibly disabled in a competitive housing market.
Chandy reflects on uni accommodation, OCD stigma, messy flat stereotypes, and how people's assumptions deeply shape disabled students’ experiences. Together we explore:
- Why disclosure feels risky
- How internalised ableism shows up in shared living
- Passive-aggressive housemates (and their sticky notes…)
- Sensory needs in shared spaces - Fear of rejection & people pleasing
- The pressure to appear “fine” even when you’re not - The carer dynamic in relationships and why it scares so many disabled people
- Loving friendships vs unwanted caretaking
- What a supportive roommate actually looks like - Why we need more disabled-inclusive housing and community structures This conversation is messy, honest, funny in places, and painfully real in others, exactly the spirit of Dude, Where’s My Ramp? If you’ve ever struggled with roommates, disclosure, or just trying to exist in someone else’s space… this one is for you.
 
Support Resources (UK & US) If anything in this episode brings up difficult emotions, memories, or mental health struggles, please know you’re not alone. Help is available:
🇬🇧 UK Support Samaritans — 24/7 mental health crisis support 📞 116 123 🌐 https://www.samaritans.org
Mind UK — Mental health information & support 🌐 https://www.mind.org.uk
Shout Crisis Text Line — Free, confidential 24/7 text support Text SHOUT to 85258 🌐 https://giveusashout.org
Scope UK — Disability support, advice & advocacy 🌐 https://www.scope.org.uk
🇺🇸 US Support
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — 24/7 crisis support 📞 Dial 988 (call or text) 🌐 https://988lifeline.org
NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) — Education & community support 🌐 https://nami.org
Crisis Text Line — 24/7 text support Text HOME to 741741 🌐 https://www.crisistextline.org
ADAPT / Disability Rights Organizations — Advocacy & community 🌐 https://adapt.org

Episode 7 — Empathy Fatigue: When Caring Becomes Heavy

Note: To watch the YouTube video with Open captions, please visit: https://youtu.be/CwEtOcqOlQQ
 
In this honest, reflective episode, Chandy and Emma explore what happens when caring, advocating, and showing up for others starts to take its toll. From personal grief and burnout to the constant pressure on disabled and neurodivergent people to educate the world, they unpack the emotional weight of advocacy and why it’s okay to rest.
They talk about self-advocacy, emotional privilege, and how “empathy fatigue” isn’t a personal flaw, it’s often a systemic issue born from a world that still resists change. Expect candid conversation, real-life examples, laughter in the middle of heavy topics, and a reminder that taking a break doesn’t make you any less committed to the cause.
Themes: Disability justice · burnout · self-advocacy · mental health · grief · emotional labour
Trigger note: Contains discussion of bereavement, mental health, and ableism.
💬 If you need support
If anything discussed in this episode brings up difficult emotions, please know you’re not alone. Support is available:
🇬🇧 UK:
Mind – mental health support and information: mind.org.uk / 0300 123 3393
Samaritans – free 24/7 helpline if you’re struggling: 116 123
Shout – text support in a crisis: Text SHOUT to 85258
Scope – disability advice and advocacy: scope.org.uk
🇺🇸 USA:
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline – call or text 988 (24/7, free, confidential)
NAMI Helpline – mental health support and education: 1-800-950-6264 / nami.org/help
Disability Rights Education & Defense Fund (DREDF) – legal advocacy and resources: dredf.org

Disability & Dating

Love, awkward first dates, and the weird world of access barriers—this week we dive into dating while disabled. From hilarious horror stories to heartwarming wins, we’re talking about what it’s really like to navigate romance, rejection, and representation when access isn’t always guaranteed.
 
🧠 Mental Health Support UK
Emergency: 999 Samaritans – 116 123
Mind – 0300 123 3393/ text 86463
SHOUT – Text SHOUT to 85258
 
USA
988 Lifeline – Call/text 988
NAMI – 1-800-950-NAMI
Crisis Text Line – Text HELLO to 741741
 
New episodes weekly – more stories, more laughs, and more rants about ramps. Subscribe & share to amplify disabled voices.

Stop Calling Us Unstable: The Cost of Speaking Up

In this episode of Dude, Where’s My Ramp?, Chandy and Emma explore how disabled people's emotional responses—like anger, grief, or assertiveness—are often misunderstood, dismissed, or pathologized. Drawing from personal stories and community insights, they unpack how resistance to ableism is frequently reframed as a symptom of mental illness, rather than a rational response to injustice.
Together, they discuss:
The overlap between ableism and sanism
How emotional expression by disabled people is socially and medically policed
The toll of being misread as “unstable” for advocating for yourself or others
The need for mental health frameworks that recognize systemic trauma
Why honoring disabled people's discomfort and dissent matters
They close with powerful reflection questions to carry with you—and a reminder that your feelings are real, valid, and deserve space.
💬 Let’s Keep the Conversation Going:
Have a story or insight to share? Connect with us on social media (links in the show notes) or send us a DM. We’d love to hear from you.
🧠 Mental Health Support
If this episode brought up difficult emotions or memories, you're not alone. Please reach out to one of these trusted support organizations:
🇬🇧 UK Resources
Samaritans – Call 116 123 or visit samaritans.org
Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 or text 86463 | mind.org.uk
SHOUT (24/7 crisis text line) – Text SHOUT to 85258
🇺🇸 USA Resources
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call or text 988 | 988lifeline.org
NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) – Call 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or visit nami.org/help
Crisis Text Line – Text HELLO to 741741
🔔 New episodes every week— with more stories, more laughs, and yes, probably more rants about ramps. Subscribe, share, and support disabled voices.

Let Me Define My Own Story

In this honest and powerful episode of Dude, Where’s My Ramp?, Chandy and Emma unpack the deceptively simple phrase, “You’re so strong.” While often meant as a compliment, it can quietly dismiss the real, complex experiences of disabled people — shifting attention from systemic barriers to personal perseverance.
Through open conversation and lived experience, they explore the emotional weight of being expected to “cope,” the pressures of masking, the gendered politics of vulnerability, and the harmful impact of “inspiration porn.” With humour, heart, and sharp insight, they challenge what society sees as strength — and reclaim the right to define their own stories.
Whether you’ve been called “strong,” said it to someone else, or questioned what it really means — this episode invites reflection, connection, and a more human understanding of disability.
🧠 Mental Health Support Resources
If any part of this episode stirred up difficult feelings, please know you're not alone. Support is available — and you deserve it.
UK Mental Health Support
Hub of Hope – National mental health services directory 🌐
Samaritans – Free, 24/7 listening service 📞 Call 116 123
Mind – Mental health advocacy and resources 🌐 mind.org.uk | 📞 0300 123 3393
In an emergency – Call 999 or go to A&E
US Mental Health Support
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call or text 988 for 24/7 support 🌐
NAMI – Mental health advocacy and resources 🌐 nami.org | 📞 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
Crisis Text Line – Text HELLO to 741741 for free, confidential support
You matter. You are not alone. And it's okay to ask for help — anytime. 💛